You sit there,
You sit there for hours,
Contemplating all about it,
Wondering if it is even worth it,
So many questions run through your head,
So many insecurities,
Way too many,
And just like yesterday,
You get stuck on the very same page of the Story,
In life taking the very first step towards something new can be completely nerve racking, almost frightening. However, without trying there is no way of knowing what possibilities and opportunities are awaiting ahead. Yes it’s hard, but without the courage to take that first step, there will be no progress.
So when you can start today, do not wait for tomorrow.
You make me laugh,
Thinking we are so naive,
Do you honestly believe you are playing us all off?
Your selfish way of life,
Your days that are full of lies,
What do you think you are doing?
Why are you trying to ruin our life?
To be honest I don’t care about you or what you do,
It just bothers me that you have the heart to come and smile in our face acting all innocent when in reality you’re nothing but a complete joke.
Every heart burn and annoyance you caused to us all will one day catch up to you.
So I’m not worried, but I definitely believe you should be.
I’m not like the leaf that just blew away in the wind,
I’m not like the rain just before the beautiful sun,
I’m not like the stranger you just walked by in the street.
Like the people who existed in the past,
I’m a dusty memory you’ve completely forgotten about,
I still exist,
With a permanent role in your everyday life.
So why won’t you take just a second to simply notice me?
A sense of emptiness,
What is happening?
Why am I struggling?
It shouldn’t be this hard,
It should just come naturally.
Yet here I am,
Once again surpressing an emotion,
An emotion that I can’t open up my heart to.
No matter how hard I try,
The second I feel the lump and its momentary sting
Everything recoils and I’m back at zero.
Deep down I know,
I know what it is that I’m feeling.
However it doesn’t really matter,
Since I only know you’re name,
And have no idea why you’re here.
This was the last thing you were expecting,
You were in such a great mood and quite over the moon,
Until you got that call.
Your elevated mood was now lower than ever before.
Time stands still,
You stare off into the unknown,
“No, no it can’t be true”,
You try and convince yourself…
“Everything’s fine, there’s nothing wrong”!
You scurry around,
Still wearing a smile on your face,
Forcing yourself to keep on moving,
But deep down you know things were never going to be the same ever again.
You lose the bounce in your step,
You come to a halt,
Your smile slowly fades and the tears begin to drop,
Your heart shatters and breaks,
You don’t know what to do,
So you just scream at the top of your lungs…
“BUT I ALREADY MISS YOU!”
I almost forgot what it was like to feel like this,
And never once did I imagine you’d be the one,
The one to fuel these emotions after they’ve been put out for so long,
I know it’s because you care,
But I just needed you to show me in a different way,
To simply hold me,
And tell me it’ll all be okay,
But unfortunately you decided on a different way.
Surely the wounds are deep and I can still feel their sting,
But I forgive you ,
And I will always continue to love you the same.
Been away for so long, not because of writers block and not because I no longer wanted to post.
However I’ve been just simply caught up with everyday life.
I didn’t realise how long it’s been, until I got a notification alerting me of a new comment made.
A fellow blogger, an amazing friend, so kind enough to just simply check up and see where I’ve been. Reading the comment in complete shock, I never thought someone would even realise I was gone.
In a visceral moment, I realised how much I missed this online world. This online place where I’ve met all these amazing and caring people. This place where I could unleash all my thoughts and feelings.
To be honest, I don’t think I would’ve come back anytime soon. But every since I read that comment, my mind has been going wild with new thoughts and new post ideas. I just needed to get back into it.
Now Ofcourse I’ll be unleashing all my thoughts and ideas but in addition to those I’d really like to start posting about something you guys have requested every now and then. You guys can spark my imagination with anything you wish… a phrase, a topic, an issue you’ve been thinking about or just simply a word that may come to your mind. I don’t know it’s completely up to you.
Anyways I think I’m getting carried away because I haven’t written in so long, so I’m going to force myself to end it here. I’m looking forward to posting and reading your amazing blogs again.
Stay amazing ❤️