I still exist…

I’m not like the leaf that just blew away in the wind,

I’m not like the rain just before the beautiful sun,

I’m not like the stranger you just walked by in the street.

 

Like the people who existed in the past,

I’m a dusty memory you’ve completely forgotten about,

But…

I still exist,

With a permanent role in your everyday life.

 

So why won’t you take just a second to simply notice me?

 

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I only know your name…

A numbness,
A sense of emptiness,
What is happening?
Why am I struggling?

It shouldn’t be this hard,
It should just come naturally.

Yet here I am,
Once again surpressing an emotion,
An emotion that I can’t open up my heart to.

No matter how hard I try,
The second I feel the lump and its momentary sting
Everything recoils and I’m back at zero.

Deep down I know,
I know what it is that I’m feeling.

However it doesn’t really matter,
Since I only know you’re name,
And have no idea why you’re here.

It will never be the same again.

This was the last thing you were expecting,
You were in such a great mood and quite over the moon,
Until you got that call.

Your elevated mood was now lower than ever before.
Time stands still,
You stare off into the unknown,
“No, no it can’t be true”,
You try and convince yourself…
“Everything’s fine, there’s nothing wrong”!

You scurry around,
Still wearing a smile on your face,
Forcing yourself to keep on moving,
But deep down you know things were never going to be the same ever again.

You lose the bounce in your step,
You come to a halt,
Your smile slowly fades and the tears begin to drop,
Your heart shatters and breaks,
You don’t know what to do,
So you just scream at the top of your lungs…
“BUT I ALREADY MISS YOU!”

I never imagined it would be you…

I almost forgot what it was like to feel like this,

And never once did I imagine you’d be the one,

The one to fuel these emotions after they’ve been put out for so long,

I know it’s because you care,

But I just needed you to show me in a different way,

To simply hold me,

And tell me it’ll all be okay,

But unfortunately you decided on a different way.

 

Surely the wounds are deep and I can still feel their sting,

But I forgive you ,

And I will always continue to love you the same.