These words echo…

Demeaning words,

“You aren’t good enough!”

 

Criticising laughs,

“You’re a fool for thinking you could be tough!”

 

Piercing smirks,

“You’re going to slip and fall and never be able to get back up!”

 

So much noise,

You wish it would just all stop.

 

If only you had a remote with buttons to lower the volume,

Or better still mute everything up.

 

You could walk away to be in a more silent place,

Far from all these things being said.

 

However, these words echo,

Even in an empty room.

 

Have you forgotten?

 

You welcomed them in,

And here they will remain,

Embedded in your head,

Until you yourself find the courage,

And discard of them for good.

 

Only then will you see change,

And surely you’ll find your true happiness again.

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The words from within…

I am not a writer,

Just a person that simply groups together streams of words floating around within my head,

Sometimes these words don’t have any purposeful focus or aim,

And sometimes they are just rambles on a page.

 

But without freeing the words in my head,

A lump forms in my throat and a heavy feeling forms in my chest,

I don’t even intend to utter the words from within,

Because even I don’t know what they are,

Not even what they mean.

 

I know it may be difficult to grasp and understand,

But I’m sorry I can’t explain any further,

Until I, myself, can figure this all out.

Parlay? Huh?

Parlay?

It’s true when they say you learn something everyday.

I’m going to be honest and tell you I haven’t heard of it before. Don’t even have the slightest clue of what it might possibly be. However, this is ofcourse where my dearest best friend comes into play. Within an instance I had the answer.

PARLAY:

1. Verb. turn an initial stake or winnings from a previous bet into (a greater amount) by gambling.

2. Noun. a cumulative series of bets in which winnings accruing from each transaction are used as a stake for a further bet.

I see why I didn’t know what it was, I’m not a gambler. So this word isn’t really useful in my dictionary. Although wait, there’s one more option I was given

PARLAY: Informal. transform into (something greater or more valuable).

Now that’s useful. I know this has usually (and more traditionally) got to do with money but guess we can implement it whatever way we want right?

So…

Why parlay your money for further gambling stakes when you could parlay your skills and effort for further goal achievements?

Why gamble with money, when you can gamble with experience? One has a very high chance of loss, the other a 100% win (you either succeed or you learn, no losing either way).

Why not break a bad habit and invest in a guaranteed healthy, life changing habit.

But then again…

The choice is yours…Which do you choose to parlay?

One reason. Different experiences.

Some wish,

Some have been so close but unfortunately lost,

And some are blessed but don’t know the true meaning of.

 

It’s sad and heartbreaking,

Watching the emotions that appear on their faces.

Some with hope,

Some with grief,

And some with complete anger and regret.

 

The observable behaviour just as clear,

Some who get involved and spend as much time as possible,

Some who stay onlookers too afraid to get too close and open up the wounds,

And some who are rough and uncaring because they’re just too fed up.

 

I get it… it’s hard sometimes,

You just want to rest,

But hey  guess that’s all part of the process,

And you’ve got to love every single second of it,

Because keep in mind having a baby is a pure blessing,

But not everyone is lucky enough to have the amazing experience of parenting like you.

 

So treat them right, don’t neglect or abuse them. Nurture, care and love them because…

That joyful beautiful angel you have might be the exact reason someone is dreaming or grieving.

 

 

Cup of coffee #1 (2017)

Oh my, oh my! It’s been so long since our last cup of coffee together but I’ve invited you over because I’ve missed our little chats and I think it’s time that we caught up. So…

If we were having a cup of coffee right now, I’d hug you so tight and tell you I’ve missed you and I’m sorry for disappearing for quite a while. Even though you probably haven’t realised but that’s okay because there’s so many amazing people who are constant and don’t disappear for so long.

If we were having a cup of coffee right now, I’d ask you how everything has been. Wow! The last time we spoke was in 2016! I sure hope 2017 has been looking good for you so far. If not, don’t worry just try to adapt and take each day as a new chance to make it better.

If we were having a cup of coffee right now, I’d sit back and listen because I’ve missed listening to all the details of your emotions and experiences. I’ll share your laughter and your tears because hey I know we haven’t met in so long but I’m always here for a friend in need.

Just don’t think…

Leg nervously shaking, heartbeat accelerating.

“I can’t do this… ”

Now standing on the edge in position, I blocked out all my thoughts and leant forward… The gushing wind pulling me in. Yep there was no going back now!

Everyone was watching as my body became unstable and I was starting to drop down faster.

Okay, okay just breathe, relax! Pretend you’re a superhero… legs straight, chin up, arms out…

“I’m not falling, I’m not falling… just flying!”

With my body responding to the thought in mind my face gets quickly plastered with a smile. I probably looked like a chipmunk at this point but….

“This is the best thing ever!!”

I have never felt such freeedom. It was so empowering and better than I ever imagined it to be. I could get used to this.

But unfortunately, all too soon I got dragged in a different direction and pushed forward, landing on the ground again. The fun had come to an end but the hype and joy still continue bubbling within.

This is where many say their goodbyes but for me it’s thank you and I’ll see you again soon my friends. I’ll surely be back to take part in your wonderful craft again.

 

All I can say is…

Once you’ve experienced the flight there’s no going back! ☺️

 

**Sniff, sniff**

Hey?

Can you smell that?

I’m not familiar with the scent at all. But I’m sure I’ve smelt it somewhere. From a distance or on people passing by? But for once it’s close and it feels like it could last some time. Not that I’m complaining because I can say for a fact it smells good. 🙃

So umm… yea I’m at a complete loss of words but let me try and explain.

I’ve read many amazing bloggers share their experience of this moment and every time found myself helplessly mirroring their happiness. Now what I can say for sure is, although we haven’t met personally, reading and sharing this platform with all of you has given me an instant sense of family.

To be honest, I never thought I’d get to the point where I would create and share a post like this. But with such an amazing and welcoming family like you I’ve been given the opportunity to. For that I send to you my humble thanks.

I thank you dearly for the support and constant stopping by, even at my most miserable inconsistent times. I thank you for sharing your thoughts and advice, and for always popping by, even just to say hi. Most of all, I thank you all for being you and sharing your moments and experiences too.

You’re all an inspiration and without you this experience would have never been possible. I hope you stick around some more and be sure to continue sharing your posts with us all. Recommend me anything at all and may we continue to cheer each other on.img_0309

Remember, Let your ink tell the story.

With lots of love,

Clumsyandsilly💕