*Message sent…*

A soft short ring,
A little light slowly blinking,
The screen flicks on,
The message in view.

You have always put everything aside,
Always helped,
Never asked for anything in return.

You gave up all your time to be there,
Never once did you reply with “I can’t”,
Or “I’m busy”,
Even though those were their replies whenever you’d ask.

But that’s enough…
You’ve spent enough time solving other people’s problems,
You’ve helped unravel their strings while watching yours get even more tangled.

It times you took a step back,
Paid attention to yourself,
And took some time off from being a human diary.

However you’re way too kind,
And just can’t help it.

As much as you try to take care of yourself,
As hard as you try to put yourself first.
Somehow it just doesn’t end up happening.

“Yes I’m free, how can I help?”
Sent.

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Fellow blogger in need of help! 

Hello there Bloggers ☺️

So I’ve had a little trouble writing lately. Literally feels like I have nothing to write. I don’t like that feeling. This got me thinking to why I started blogging. I remember my thoughts were so cramped that I just needed somewhere to empty and put them out. It was amazing because whenever I got a thought or something was bothering me I’d type it away. While I was thinking of this I realised that till now I haven’t really posted anything that fits with my blogging name, ClumsyandSilly. So why did I choose this name?

Whenever someone was asked to describe me clumsy and silly would always be mentioned. That’s how I portrayed myself to those around me. I never let them see the serious emotional side of me, that’s why my thoughts when alone or at night in the comfort of my bed were nothing like people saw. I changed myself, I wouldn’t say became closed up but more aware and cautious of when, what, how and why something is being said or done.

When I started blogging I knew that I wanted to speak the thoughts I never trusted or dared to say. I wanted to be able to free the screaming thoughts and emotions without having anyone look me in the eyes and dig deeper. I just wanted to be able to be heard, without any second thinking or doubts. But I guess now it feels like, what do people want to read? What posts will interest others? What messages will my readers take from the posts I share?

I don’t know. I just can’t find the inspiration to write something that satisfies me enough to post up. I know I want to write, I know I want to in someway benefit my readers with the posts I share, and I know for a fact I don’t want to be the person that blows unwanted Smoke on the people passing by.

So all you beautiful people out there, I need your help. What would you like to read about? What will benefit you in any way? What’s some experiences or opinions you would like to be shared? I would love to hear all your suggestions and thoughts. Please let me know what you think and what I should do. ☺️

Bye for now and stay amazing my fellow bloggers. 😘

I’m still here if you ever need…

You asked me to drink coffee,

And I selfishly replied no,

I’m sorry I seemed like such a fraud.

I let my past reply, instead of the me today,

I’ll listen and hear everything you got to say,

I just need to know you’re nothing like the ones before,

I’m here to help don’t get me wrong,

You caught me off guard and now I see,

I’m not as good as I thought I’d be,

I’m rambling a lot I know,

But I now feel bad,

If only you know.

 

You don’t need to drink your coffee alone,

Don’t forget

I’m still here if you ever need..

 

 

Apology

The remote’s in your hand…

I remember the day I no longer had my sense of security always by my side.

For all of you that have an older sibling, you know what I’m talking about. When ever you needed help or just needed some comfort you’d do anything to be in their presence. Ofcourse then there comes times that they aren’t always around.

It was the beginning of a new year and it was the first time I went to school on my own. For someone that had been in situations of bullying and discomfort this was one of the most nerve-racking things to do. The fact that I was shy and a little too sensitive only made matters worse.

Walking into school was scary but I knew this was the day I had to gain a sense of Autonomy when it came to my safety and comfort. I couldn’t rely on anyone, especially not at school. I remember I did just that, I became a whole different me.

I was no longer afraid and I stood up for myself making sure that no one could bring me down. I always wore a smile and if anyone said anything I’d laugh and make sure they didn’t see how it affected me.

 

To anyone that is a victim of bullying or has a hard time anywhere, remember only you have control over your happiness. Don’t let anyone bring you down, stay confident, walk tall and always smile. Trust me it’s intimidating. Ofcourse it’s hard and you’ll fall once or twice but always remember to get back up and be stronger.

It took me a while but definitely made my life so much happier and easier when I had control over my feelings. I know it’ll be the same for you.

Dont forget, you have the remote and you can control your life however you want.

Smile and stay strong. Xx

1% ….

I sit here and wonder,

I wonder about society,

The way we have become so egocentric,

We either don’t care about others, or we care about those that don’t really need our worry

The problems we spend hours talking about and getting all stressed over are seriously unbelievable.

“Zayn Malik and his girlfriend broke up,”

“I can’t believe I don’t have a body like Kim Kardashian,”

“Noooooo!!!! I don’t have any more lives in Candy Crush.”

Okay yeah I get it, these things are entertaining and seem major,

But there are other things we should worry about,

Other things we should keep ourself updated about.

Like Syria,

Afghanistan,

Palestine,

The children who are picking at the garbage and sand to find a simple crumb to calm down their screaming tummies,

Those that have just lost their loved ones,

Or the those that Burn from their hearts indescribable suffering.

 

Okay let’s forget about those,

What about the ones that are on our streets,

No food, no shelter, no love or care.

Just passed by or attacked for simply just sitting there.

I’m sorry society, but when you come and complain and freak out about the red 1% warning on your screens,

I think about those whose lives are also running on a dangerously low red warning

 

Both with the same condition, but

One gets checked up on ten times a second,

While the other completely ignored every single second.

 

Now Society I ask you this,

Which will you choose to recharge?

The Dreaded Disease

In today’s society it seems like some, or more accurately the majority of us, are suffering with a dreaded disease. One that we have the ability to manage but always seem to forget to keep in check. We plan on curing ourselves from it but yet again we fall into the same trap that this disease sets out for us.

Procrastination-elitise: A disease in which one constantly delays things and does everything other than the task at hand. Sometimes can cause extreme stress especially when there are associated deadlines. One is aware of the disease but fails to address and treat it before it’s too late.

Ofcourse this is an issue and there are different views upon the effect of this disease. One particular one is…

Everyone has a different opinion on the statement above. Ofcourse being a sufferer of procrastination-elitise, I can definitely say it does bring on creativity. Ofcourse not when there are major deadlines, but for more flexible tasks. Let’s take blogging for example, a prompt is sent or a topic is decided, waiting may bring on a new spark of ideas you hadn’t thought of at the beginning. Keeping it in mind and going about everyday life you’ll definitely be inspired.

So what’s the whole point of this post? Don’t look at this issue in a bad light, sure sometimes it’s not the best, but everyone can be that little extra creative with some delaying. Rather than considering it to Deprive you of time, think of it as extra time to create something extra special.

Everyone’s unique and should allow themselves time to bring out the best their minds can muster. Use every flaw to your advantage, it’s what makes you you and distinguishes you from the rest of society.

Jump The Fence

Once again I’m sitting here at night within the warm enclosure of my bedroom. The soft illumination from the small bedside lamp creating a relaxed and sincere mood in which I can think and write down my thoughts.

Tonight I feel great, calmer in a way. I definitely feel like I’m moving in the right direction. Just the state of mind I’m in and my inner calmness proves that to me in so many ways.

Ofcourse there is still a long way to go but at least I feel a change happening. Very slight and minor but I know it’ll turn into something major. Don’t get me wrong I’m not going to change who I am, just wanting to evolve into the best version of me.

I’m no longer going to play it safe and stay in my cushioned zone. I’m going to be brave and jump the Fence in order to do great things. I have my mind set and hopefully things work out.

To anyone who is like me and fears leaving their comfort zone…

Think of everything you ever wanted to achieve and then reflect…

Can you achieve all those things when you are too afraid to try something a little different, or a little harder or maybe even something completely new? Why not give it a go? At least then we  won’t be stuck in the what ifs and know for sure what works and doesn’t, what’s right and what’s wrong, and, we can have a definite answer rather than an “I think”.

Don’t restrict yourself from doing all the amazing things you want and are capable of achieving. I know I’m not going to. Ofcourse like any process it’s not going to be a smooth ride, they’ll be ups and downs but we just got to take it one step at a time.

If I can leave you and myself with one thing it’s… Don’t be afraid to show the greatness you’re hiding.